Theft and Magic shoes.

This post is primarily about the weirdness of men, well some men are normal I'm sure, but so far i don't think I've met one. I got a phone call from one of my dearest friends tonight, for the purposes of this blog we'll call her Marie, let me tell you a little about her. She is a Goddess, we have been best friends since we were fifteen at school together, and I'm fairly sure i know her better than most, and she certainly knows me better than nearly anyone. She is the strongest, kindest, most honest, self assured person i have ever met. She is like a sister to me, more so than my actual sister infact. But unfortunately like many women i know, she inexplicably loses herself a little when she is in a relationship. She stops seeing her friends as much, and she becomes totally dependant on the man she is seeing, even to the point that she is somehow blind to all his faults.

A couple of years ago Marie started seeing a guy, lets call him Douche. We are from a small-ish town in England and it was no secret that Douche was a loser, with a great many substance abuse problems, tendencies toward violence, and a life time ban from most of the pubs in our home town. But Marie was convinced that Douche had calmed down since meeting her, that she was good for him and he no longer did hard drugs: "Just a bit of Pot!" Was what she told me. 

I think she thought she could save him, and as dubious as I and all our mutual friends were, she seemed to be right, for a long time their relationship seemed to be going very well. Of course we couldn't have a girly night out for months because she took him everywhere with her and if she ever did go out without him, she would inevitably go home early. But we got to know him too and we started to warm to him. I infact changed my mind completely and apologised to Marie for pre judging him. 

That was until about six months ago, when after Marie and Douche's relationship had been having a few small problems, he cheated on her, and broke up with her in the middle of the street by going to meet her with his new girlfriend, and making out with her right there infront of Marie. He did a great many other things too, but if i listed them all this blog would go on forever! She was distraught! I had known Marie for years, and I had never seen her cry (She doesn't like emotional displays) and she called me in floods of tears. After a while when her grief had subsided a bit she started spending time with him again, she told me and our friends that they were just friends, and even though we knew it was bullshit, we couldn't understand why she would want to be friends with him anyway!

But it was none of our business, so we told her what we thought and then let it be. And of course, it happened again, this time on Marie's birthday! The bastard split up with her on her birthday! When her family were on holiday, so she was totally alone. Anyway, getting to the point of this post FINALLY!!!.....

Marie rang me tonight, and told me that Douche turned up at her house just, stinking of booze with a nine o'clock shadow. Apparently someone had broken into his house (without breaking the lock) stolen his expired passport and a £5 gift voucher, and to top it all, they had also continuously rang his new girlfriend, saying nothing but 'Hello'.  And Douche new it was Marie, despite the handicap of not having a key to his house, his girlfriends number (Or any use for his expired passport or a £5 gift voucher for Burton's menswear) because whilst she was supposedly on the phone to his new girlfriend........ He recognised the sound of her shoes! 

It made me laugh.